There is one thing about the TV show The Crown that I cannot stop thinking about (there is no spoiler don’t worry) – the coldness of the royal family, the rigidity and incapacity of feeling empathy. I am not reading between the lines, it’s definitely a topic of the show, as Queen Elizabeth herself realises and comments that to her husband Philip. As much as it is brought to her attention several times throughout her life, even through cries for help from her son Charles or her daughter-in-law Diana, she seems to carry on every time without changing absolutely nothing.
I know, I am judging, and I shouldn’t, let’s not forget that I am talking about the characters in the TV show, I have no idea what happened in real life, I am allowed to judge fictional characters. It’s easy to mix up reality and fiction in our heads, in my opinion the (real) royal family is right when they fear that this TV show influences people, that people will think things happened the way they are portrayed by Netflix, at least my subconscious does.
Throughout the episodes I was struck by the absence of affectionate gestures. Princess Margaret is in bed because she is depressed, Queen Elizabeth tells her how much she is important for her, and the best she can do is to take her hand in her hands. Princess Diana hugs Queen Elizabeth and she is not only shocked by it but she is also incapable of returning it. Queen Elizabeth suddenly – when she finally decides to give attention to them – realises that all her children are lost, in their own way. Some are narcissists as a result from the lack of love and attention received during childhood, the others are extremely sad and self-centred. Philip’s answer when Elizabeth questions herself is: “Now they are adults, it’s their responsibility to solve themselves out”. As much as I think he is right, it is up to them now to take care of themselves, it’s harsh to say so with no room for amends.
I do understand that realising your children suffered and suffer is not enough to change. It’s like a family inheritance that passes from mother to child, from father to child, from sibling to sibling. And it’s difficult to get rid of it. I know because my family is not very different. We don’t hug, we barely kiss on the cheeks, and just because the social conventions say so.
Yesterday, the same day I was reflecting about this, I received an email from a woman I know but I never met in real life, and she signed with “hugs”. It warmed my heart to receive a digital hug from a quasi-stranger. Very difficult to apply in times of social distancing, but let’s not forget that “We need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, 12 hugs a day for growth.”
Blabbering of a millennial 