All about my mother

In 1999 I went to the movies with my mom to see “All about my mother”, by Almodovar. I loved it. We laughed and cried during the movie and I remember leaving the cinema with the heart full of emotions. I also remember telling my mother that after watching the movie I felt like having a child of my own. She didn’t like that very much, she got a bit worried, I was only 15.

Last night, 21 years later, I decided to watch the movie again. In the meantime, my mother died. I still have no children. I still love the movie. I decided to watch it again mainly because I didn’t remember much about it, but also because I wanted to see if I was going to feel the same emotions. I enjoyed watching it again. As I have seen several works by Almodovar in these 21 years, I noticed details typical of his art – such as the ever-present red – that I am sure I didn’t focus on the first time. I also understood what in the movie led me to feel like becoming a mother, which I didn’t feel last night, because in 2020 I have a more precise idea of what motherhood means to me. Motherhood is the central theme in the movie, and there is a deep love and sweetness about it. No wonder I longed to feel love and sweetness when I was 15. I remember now that I was picturing myself alone with a baby, because family is not represented as mother-father-kid in this movie. I also believe that watching “All about my mother” alone with my mother, in a period I had her all to myself – my father was away for work and my sisters were at university in another city, contributed to make of it a memory I am particularly fond of.