How do you contribute to change?

How do you contribute to change? Where does the limit between being constantly critical – and often so annoying – and be constructive stand?

These are the questions I have been asking myself lately. I live it as both an internal and an external  struggle. I always thought life is easier and lighter, thus happier, if you don’t criticise all the time. If I think positive I will feel positive, or something like that. How can I be positive if I am constantly having something negative on my mind? How can I be happy if I am constantly complaining about something?

On the other hand, how can I improve myself and society if I don’t question things? Maybe here lies the answer – question things doesn’t mean criticising everything. Or maybe criticising doesn’t mean highlighting the negative sides.

Example. I hate high stools, because I find them very uncomfortable. Shall I just sit somewhere else, change bar, don’t sit, or sharing this observation with bar managers and owners? Will my complaining improve things for other (short-but-not-below-average) persons like me who do not want to climb on stools?

Second thought. I constantly ask my husband to buy eggs from chicken who live outdoors, refuse plastic bags from shops, reduce meat consumption and so on. Constantly. Another example; after I told a friend I was going to travel, he sent me the link to a website where you can calculate the carbon footprint of your flight and make a donation. I received the link without any explanation. Is this passive aggressive? Or does this lead to change in behaviours? By the way this thing of making a donation or planting a tree to compensate carbon emission is very catholic, it reminds me a lot of atoning a sin by saying a number of Hail Mary proportional to the size of the carbon print….

Third thought. I pointed out to some colleagues that a Christmas work party we went to was sexist (there were hostesses wearing bikinis and taking pictures with the guests). A female colleague snorted and said I was being heavy and always complaining about similar stuff. In my mind my reaction was ‘how will we win this cause if we have to fight women as well’. But nowadays my thought is – did I contribute to change by sharing my observation? Or did I just waste energy and push this colleague away from the cause by annoying her?

Trying to find an answer, I started following an online course on how to contribute to change but I didn’t find it enriching. Boh. To be continued I guess.